Advice on Problems with Parenting Plans


Questioner

Divorced since 2012, the parenting plan states that the (3) children have their main residential address with their father. Through mutual consultation, deviations were made from certain points of the parenting plan. Father remarried and after that the contact deteriorated. In the meantime things have gotten quite out of hand and the eldest 2 children (16 and 15 years old) no longer want to live with their father and his wife and have been with me full-time for almost 1 year. Youngest child (11) comes to me once every 2 weeks for a weekend and during the school holidays. Now I am moving and have asked father if the children can be registered at my address, this in connection with rent allowance and child-related budget. He has refused. After that I suggested calling in a mediator so that the parenting plan could be adjusted, but he didn't want that either. What can I do now? I do have care for 2 of our children, but I do not receive any financial compensation for this. What other steps can I take? Should the children declare to the judge where they would prefer to live?

Lawyer

The parenting plan establishes what is mutually arranged with regard to the divorce. That changes occur during the contact of the exes is because you have agreed on them together, and that is allowed according to law. Your ex also has a maintenance obligation based on income, according to the parenting plan. If this fails to materialize, it is legally enforceable. In any case, nothing remains of this parenting plan, because everything has been arranged between them in the meantime. Now that there is a kink in the cable, it is very important to repair it, because the main residence of one of the children has changed. Mediation is the first solution. You can also file a petition with the judge. But this will entail considerable costs (lawyer, court fees, etc.) If you wish, you may contact me directly so that I can draw up a request for mediation on your behalf to your ex-husband. Because I can ensure a good outcome in a correct manner.

Lawyer

I advise you to hire a lawyer in the short term who can start a procedure on your behalf in which the change of the children's primary residence to you is requested. It is also possible to request in court to obtain a contribution to the costs of care and upbringing of the children, possibly even retroactively up to 2 years ago given the circumstances you describe. After all, he has apparently received the allowances and the child-related budget for both children all that time. From the age of 12, children are in principle heard by the judge. This can be done in person. However, they can also write a letter to the judge in which they indicate what they want. If he does not want to cooperate further, not even with mediation, you will unfortunately really have to hire a lawyer who can assist you in this in the short term. If you wish, you can contact me. I work nationwide and also on the basis of subsidized legal aid, to the extent that you qualify for this.

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