Contact arrangements in the event of divorce: what now?

Questioner

I have been divorced for about three years. After the divorce, the contact with me has always been very good, but now we have a conflict that is escalating. I have been in a new relationship for 1.5 years. She also has two children just like me and therefore also an ex that she has to take into account. We do not have the weekends at the same time, which is very annoying for us and also for our children because they see each other very little. I asked my ex a year ago if she would like to swap weekends. I got a very clear answer to that. She did not want to do that and wanted to stick to what was included in the agreement. Namely that the children would be with me on the even weekends and with her on the odd ones. Because she was very clear about this, I did not ask her again and we set our sights on my partner's ex. In September we were told that he could possibly switch to the other weekends in the new year. My partner asked to check again what had been agreed, so I looked again at the agreement, which is very clear about this. From that moment on, we and the children look forward to the new year in which we can do things together and increasingly form a family. When we were planning the Christmas vacation in December, we discovered that there is a week 53 and therefore also a week 1. I also pointed out to my ex that we should take that into account. (during the vacations we often deviate from the even and odd weeks, so I didn't think it would be a problem) You can already feel it coming that my ex does not agree with this and says that these are not the agreements. I told her that the covenant is very clear about this and there is also nothing mentioned about years with a week 53. This conflict is now escalating considerably and we are now in telephone contact with our mediator who also arranged our divorce. What I find very strange is that he says that those even and odd weeks are not meant so literally in the agreement. And if I do not agree with this, I have to start summary proceedings. The agreement should be something you can fall back on if things go wrong and in my opinion it should not be open to multiple interpretations. In my opinion, my ex is not adhering to the agreements made and then I should start summary proceedings. Before I initiate summary proceedings, I would like to know whether I have any chance at all or whether this absurd story is true and that it contains things that I should not interpret in this way. My partner and I are quite devastated by this and the children are also very disappointed that they can only see each other during the holidays.

Lawyer

It is either an arrangement where the children stay with one parent or the other on an even/odd basis or an arrangement where it is alternate. As you indicate, the even/odd arrangement has a strange effect because in a week of 53 weeks, the children are with one of the parents for two weekends in a row. And not strictly applying the even/odd arrangement will lead to a reversal of the odd/even arrangement, which would then conflict with the clear agreement as to which parent the children will stay with on an even/odd weekend. Apart from the above: the visitation arrangement is there for the benefit of the children and not for the benefit of the parents. So let the interests of the children prevail and if you are unable to reach an arrangement between yourselves, try to coordinate the desired arrangement with the children in any proceedings and not on the basis of an equal/unequal situation according to the agreement.