Legal Advice: Funeral Costs and Inheritance Issues

Questioner

Today I received a letter from the municipality of Amersfoort stating that my biological mother has passed away. I have not had any contact with her for 40 years. We were taken away in 1979 by the child protection authorities and then went to live with our father. From that moment on she disappeared without a trace and we have never had any contact with her again. The letter states whether we (my sisters and I) want to contact the municipality regarding her funeral. She passed away on July 26 and the letter arrived on July 28. To what extent can the municipality ask us to pay for the funeral costs. We do not want this, partly because she also fulfilled her duty of care as a 'mother'. We do not see her as a mother. My father remarried at that time and that woman was our mother. Unfortunately, both have passed away. What is the best thing to do. Because we simply do not feel like paying for someone we do not know.

Lawyer

I advise you to reject the estate of your late biological mother. This means that any debts cannot be recovered from you. You can reject an inheritance for financial or emotional reasons. The other heirs, provided they do not reject the inheritance either, will become responsible. You must make a statement to the court for the rejection. You can do that yourself. If you want I can also arrange that for you. Do you have any questions? Please feel free to ask.

Questioner

Unfortunately, that is not the answer I am looking for. We reject the inheritance. What matters is whether we can refuse the costs of the funeral. Our biological mother has not cared for us since I was 11 and my sister was 9. She then disappeared without a trace. Now she has passed away and we suspect that there is no insurance. She never completed her duty of care. Now it turns out that we also have a duty of care regarding her and that is something we do not want. Can we get out of that?

Lawyer

If you reject the inheritance, this means that no creditor can approach you. For the municipality, this is indeed different. As a child, you are obliged to repay your parents' funeral expenses to the Municipality, even if you are not an heir.

Questioner

Unfortunately, that is not the answer I am looking for. We reject the inheritance. What matters is whether we can refuse the costs of the funeral. Our biological mother has not cared for us since I was 11 and my sister was 9. She then disappeared without a trace. Now she has passed away and we suspect that there is no insurance. She never completed her duty of care. Now it turns out that we also have a duty of care regarding her and that is something we do not want. Can we get out of that?

Questioner

Even if she has clearly stated that she does not want us at the funeral. Because I heard that from someone who was in contact with her until the end. Mrs. only wants a niece there, but other family is not welcome. If it is the case that the costs are on us, I can still decide for myself whether the deceased likes it or not.

Lawyer

Yes, you are an heir and can therefore arrange the funeral in any way you wish, unless there is a will and an executor.