Dealing with Irresponsible Father to Daughter

Questioner

My daughter is with her father once every 2 weeks for a weekend. This has been going on for 1.5 years. Every time she comes home upset, super tired and does strange things (spitting in my boyfriend's face, hitting, upset, screaming, nightmares, waking up screaming at night etc.) The weekends that she is with her father they do nothing together and from what I hear she is 'dumped' at grandpa and grandma's, because then he can go drinking with his friends. He also does this while she is in bed and no one else is there. He has already lost his driver's license because of the alcohol and honestly I am afraid that there will come a time when it will go wrong. I have already pointed out our agreements to him several times. (Paying alimony 150 euros per month, not letting her sleep somewhere else without me knowing, putting her to bed on time, not drinking (getting drunk) when she is with you), not responding to agreements via the app while that is the agreement. He laughs in my face when I confront him about this. I offered to go to a mediator but he does not agree. I would like to take steps but where do I start. I would prefer that he sees her but not 'dumps' her somewhere and then goes drinking with his friends. I also want to calculate the alimony and draw up a new parenting plan. We first discussed all this among ourselves and signed it together. I would like advice because I notice that my daughter is suffering from it.

Lawyer

What an annoying situation. If you can't work it out together and your ex doesn't want to talk to you at a mediator, the legal route is what remains. The LBIO may be able to help you with this, but this is only possible if the alimony has been determined by the judge (https://www.lbio.nl/inning-alimentatie/alimentatie-ontvangen/wanneer-kunnen-wij-u-helpen/). If this is not yet the case, you can still have this done.