How can I get decision-making authority over my 11 year old stepson?

Questioner

My wife was married and had a son with her ex. Now 11 years later she is married to me and her son lives with me. Her ex lives in Russia. If something happens to her or she is on a business trip/vacation, it would be good if I could also decide on matters that concern him. The intention is not to undermine the father's position, but purely to give me legal authority to decide. I would like to receive advice about this situation on how I can best arrange this without legally depriving the father of his authority. However, if that is the only way, how do others do this in similar settings? And at the same time the question is how I can best approach this.

Lawyer

What you describe sounds like a situation where it might be appropriate to inquire about obtaining so-called 'joint custody' of your stepson. In the Netherlands, joint custody can be requested by the mother and her husband, even if this person is not the biological father of the child. Joint custody can be requested via an online form on the website of the Judiciary, under certain conditions. Among other things, you must be married to your partner or have a registered partnership and you must act with the consent of the biological parent(s). The judge will always look at the interests of the child when making such decisions. Although you indicate that it is not your intention to undermine the father's position, granting joint custody does mean that the father loses his authority in a certain sense. It is therefore wise to also involve the father in this process and obtain his consent. It is advisable to seek professional legal advice before making a final decision in this matter. A lawyer can help you to detail your options and understand the potential consequences of each step. A lawyer can also assist you in conducting discussions or negotiations with the father.' ---------------- Stichting Rechtswinkel.nl is a national organization with students and volunteers. The above advice is based on limited information and may be incomplete or even incorrect for your situation. Always consult a lawyer or attorney for your further steps. Read disclaimer: https://rechtswinkel.nl/disclaimer I would like to invite you to rate the above answer so that we can learn from your response.